$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nicole vs. Life
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
