when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
