Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's always time for handjobs
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
