you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
