God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize