so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize