So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
