If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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