just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
