Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize