My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
