I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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