Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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