why didn't you poke me back
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Randomize
