hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
