Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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