"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
