matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
