He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
