found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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