Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
