I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
