everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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