i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
