Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
