If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
