we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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