dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
