Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
