What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
