Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
