I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
