It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
