dude i'm inner monologue high
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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