Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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