i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
