Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
