so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
