Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
