Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
