They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
