In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
