I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
