make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
