You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
