Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Alive.
So much puke
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i now understand why vodka
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
