I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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