I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
