you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
