You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're too hungover to prance.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
