And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
