It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
