phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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