It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize