somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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