she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
