i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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