remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
