i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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