Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
