Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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