You're completely useless in the revolution.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
