all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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