Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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