No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
